1 00:00:03,589 --> 00:00:06,695 There are times when it's so convenient your friends became a couple. 2 00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:10,250 Oh! Peej, before I forget. My publisher got us into Fig. 3 00:00:10,251 --> 00:00:11,424 No way! 4 00:00:11,425 --> 00:00:12,770 Oh, my God, that's amazing! When? 5 00:00:12,771 --> 00:00:14,496 What's amazing? Saturday. 6 00:00:14,497 --> 00:00:16,498 What's Fig? But isn't there, like, a three month waiting list? 7 00:00:16,499 --> 00:00:18,431 For what? I know. She's magic. 8 00:00:18,432 --> 00:00:20,329 Who? Wait, what are they talking about? 9 00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:21,744 It's like they're sleepwalking, dude. 10 00:00:21,745 --> 00:00:23,056 If you try to wake them, they get violent. 11 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,058 Okay, I am so excited! 12 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:26,164 Fig! Fig! 13 00:00:28,787 --> 00:00:31,513 Good morning, honey. You wandered out to the shed again. 14 00:00:31,514 --> 00:00:32,756 Steph got us into Fig. 15 00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:36,207 Vince's restaurant. 16 00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:39,107 From Top Chef. Oh, my God, Vince! 17 00:00:39,108 --> 00:00:41,040 Top Chef! Vince! Fig! 18 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,558 Now they're just shouting out random words. 19 00:00:42,559 --> 00:00:45,527 Hamburger monkey pants! What are you guys talking about? 20 00:00:45,528 --> 00:00:47,770 You guys don't watch Top Chef? 21 00:00:47,771 --> 00:00:50,428 If we did, I think you would have heard "Vince!" or "Fig!" at some point. 22 00:00:50,429 --> 00:00:52,879 Okay, well, Vince is the guy that almost won Top Chef. 23 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,743 And he just opened up this fancy new restaurant. 24 00:00:54,744 --> 00:00:56,607 Oh, and it's getting great reviews. 25 00:00:56,608 --> 00:00:59,748 Oh, and they have that caprese salad where the tomato looks like the cheese 26 00:00:59,749 --> 00:01:01,922 and the cheese looks like the tomato. 27 00:01:01,923 --> 00:01:04,477 You know, we should just do the tasting menu and let him surprise us. 28 00:01:04,478 --> 00:01:07,928 You know, you should just do the tasting menu and let him surprise you. 29 00:01:07,929 --> 00:01:11,725 You know, I wasn't aware that it's okay to make plans in front of your friends 30 00:01:11,726 --> 00:01:13,693 that you're not including. 31 00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:15,591 Aw, Mike... No, no... 32 00:01:15,592 --> 00:01:18,801 There are times when the differences between couple friends and single friends 33 00:01:18,802 --> 00:01:20,355 cannot be avoided. 34 00:01:20,356 --> 00:01:22,357 Mike. Come here, come on. Mikey. 35 00:01:22,358 --> 00:01:26,223 Seriously, Mike, if you want to go, I'm sure we can make the reservation for six. 36 00:01:26,224 --> 00:01:29,398 No, no. You guys go and have your fancy couples night. We don't want to embarrass you. 37 00:01:29,399 --> 00:01:31,538 Oh, come on. It's not like that. 38 00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:33,402 Yeah, dude, you don't even watch Top Chef. 39 00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:35,611 No, only grown-ups watch Top Chef. 40 00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:37,613 I'm too busy watching SpongeBob SquarePants 41 00:01:37,614 --> 00:01:40,340 with my finger up my nose. Right, Brendan? 42 00:01:40,341 --> 00:01:42,239 I have no interest in going to Fig. 43 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,655 Don't listen to him. He's just too hurt to show it. 44 00:01:44,656 --> 00:01:47,416 Actually, it's my first Saturday night off from the club in six months 45 00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,315 and I would rather spend it blowing off some steam, 46 00:01:49,316 --> 00:01:50,764 not worrying about which fork to use. 47 00:01:50,765 --> 00:01:52,559 Whatever, dude. 48 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,872 All right, Mike, do you want to come? We will be happy to have you. 49 00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:57,875 Oh, and be the fifth wheel? No, thank you. 50 00:01:57,876 --> 00:02:01,050 I'd rather blow off some steam with this guy. Right, Brendo? 51 00:02:01,051 --> 00:02:04,606 Whatever, dude. I'm really not invested in any of this. 52 00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:06,849 That's right! Brothers united! Okay. 53 00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:08,541 We are going to do something awesome! 54 00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:10,991 Right on. Couple of single dudes, anything is possible. 55 00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:13,754 Oh, boy. So, you gonna drink here or at Crowley's? 56 00:02:15,204 --> 00:02:16,412 Both! Yeah! 57 00:02:47,305 --> 00:02:49,892 Look, so fancy! 58 00:02:49,893 --> 00:02:51,446 They have an inside tree! 59 00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:52,895 Ah, I wonder what kind of tree it is. 60 00:02:52,896 --> 00:02:55,244 Oh, I don't know... Fig? 61 00:02:58,247 --> 00:03:01,214 Hi, reservation for Layne at 8:00. 62 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:03,699 Your table is not quite ready. It will be 15 or 20 minutes. 63 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,771 May I suggest a drink at our bar? 64 00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:09,327 Okay. 65 00:03:13,331 --> 00:03:15,298 There's no place to sit. 66 00:03:17,266 --> 00:03:18,681 Wow. Fifteen or 20 minutes? 67 00:03:20,959 --> 00:03:23,755 I'll handle it. Don't even bother getting drinks. 68 00:03:26,896 --> 00:03:30,209 I love Kenny's Goodfellas mode. 69 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,142 I know. It's like being with Don Corleone 70 00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:34,593 but without all the killing. 71 00:03:36,181 --> 00:03:37,354 How'd it go? 72 00:03:37,355 --> 00:03:39,253 Good. Be about 15 or 20 minutes. 73 00:03:40,081 --> 00:03:41,254 He didn't take the money? 74 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,808 Oh, he took the money. 75 00:03:45,604 --> 00:03:46,846 Hey. 76 00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:49,055 All right! While the adults are away, 77 00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:52,231 Brendan and Mike will play. Check it out. I got the new system. 78 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,094 I got Golden Gloves 9 Super Knockout. 79 00:03:54,095 --> 00:03:56,200 And if we want to take the time, 80 00:03:56,201 --> 00:03:58,616 there's a way to make the guys look just like us. 81 00:03:58,617 --> 00:04:00,515 I can't believe... So you're not insulted? 82 00:04:00,516 --> 00:04:01,826 By what? 83 00:04:01,827 --> 00:04:03,828 They were embarrassed to have us at their dinner. 84 00:04:03,829 --> 00:04:05,209 No, dude, I didn't take it like that. 85 00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:07,315 Besides, let them go have their fancy-schmantzy meal. 86 00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:08,730 Our night's going to be more fun. 87 00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:10,766 I guarantee it. Really? 88 00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:15,254 Oh, yes. Trust me. They think we're children, 89 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,636 but we are about to do something very adult. 90 00:04:18,637 --> 00:04:19,844 You made brownies? 91 00:04:19,845 --> 00:04:22,640 Oh, I made big boy brownies. 92 00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:24,194 It's an old college recipe. 93 00:04:25,472 --> 00:04:27,818 Oh, you made brownies. 94 00:04:27,819 --> 00:04:29,751 Yes... Click. Boop! 95 00:04:29,752 --> 00:04:30,787 There it is. Brownies! 96 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,002 Is it me or have we been sitting for, like, a half hour? 97 00:04:40,003 --> 00:04:41,452 I just want a menu. 98 00:04:41,453 --> 00:04:43,730 Oh, I think I see our drinks. Thank God! 99 00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:46,320 No. They're not coming. They're over there on the bar. 100 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:53,464 Oh, look at them. The little cuties. Just waiting for a home. 101 00:04:53,465 --> 00:04:56,950 Poor things. They're sweating. 102 00:04:56,951 --> 00:04:59,919 You know what? I'm just gonna grab them. I mean, they're right there. 103 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,059 I wouldn't do that. Why? 104 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:07,098 It's against restaurant protocol. Trust me. We don't want to be that table. 105 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,342 What's that table? When I worked at a restaurant... 106 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,068 You worked at a restaurant? 107 00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:13,346 Yeah, and when it gets really busy, 108 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:16,660 the waiters have a choice. To give all-around C service, 109 00:05:16,661 --> 00:05:21,250 or A service to everyone except one table. 110 00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:22,942 We called it "that table." 111 00:05:22,943 --> 00:05:25,082 I'm sorry. When did you work in a restaurant? 112 00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:26,911 In college. Everyone should be forced 113 00:05:26,912 --> 00:05:29,258 to marry ketchup bottles at least once in their lives. 114 00:05:29,259 --> 00:05:30,570 There'd be less war. 115 00:05:30,571 --> 00:05:32,572 Well, how do you pick that table? 116 00:05:32,573 --> 00:05:35,195 Whoever got the angriest the quickest usually got abandoned. 117 00:05:35,196 --> 00:05:38,509 So I suggest we chill for five minutes. 118 00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:40,477 Let somebody else become the angry table. 119 00:05:40,478 --> 00:05:44,447 But, I'm not angry. I mean, if we see our drinks, we should be able to go get them. 120 00:05:48,278 --> 00:05:51,453 Yeah... 121 00:05:51,454 --> 00:05:54,526 Excuse me. This area needs to be clear. Please return to your table. 122 00:05:56,666 --> 00:05:57,633 As soon as you can. 123 00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:00,981 And now we're that table. 124 00:06:06,573 --> 00:06:11,508 Oh, dude, I got the cheat codes for the game, so we can play as dinosaurs if we want! 125 00:06:11,509 --> 00:06:16,202 Wait! Don't. Put the brownie down. Put it down. 126 00:06:16,203 --> 00:06:18,480 Aren't we doing exactly what they expect us to do? 127 00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:20,931 I mean, they're going to come home all full of amuse-bouches 128 00:06:20,932 --> 00:06:23,485 and holier-than-thous and they're going to find us covered in cheese curls. 129 00:06:23,486 --> 00:06:24,728 Oh, I forgot cheese curls! 130 00:06:24,729 --> 00:06:26,143 Let's prove them wrong. 131 00:06:26,144 --> 00:06:27,869 Let's step it up! Just because we're single, doesn't mean 132 00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:30,250 we can't enjoy a sophisticated night out on the town. 133 00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:33,357 Well, all right, man, but I only got the game system for one night. 134 00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:35,117 Let's play a bigger game. 135 00:06:35,118 --> 00:06:37,603 Let's try something new. Let's be men. 136 00:06:37,604 --> 00:06:39,156 Let's wear suits. 137 00:06:39,157 --> 00:06:40,951 All right, these are, like, $40 brownies, dude. 138 00:06:40,952 --> 00:06:43,332 They'll keep. You know what men in suits do? 139 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,851 They meet women in skirts! 140 00:06:44,852 --> 00:06:46,853 Oh, skirts. Yeah! 141 00:06:46,854 --> 00:06:48,855 I like skirts. Who doesn't? 142 00:06:48,856 --> 00:06:50,167 Women in skirts like brownies... 143 00:06:50,168 --> 00:06:52,825 No, not flowery peasant skirts. I mean real skirts! 144 00:06:52,826 --> 00:06:56,345 Tight skirts with a little slit on the side 145 00:06:56,346 --> 00:06:57,692 to distract jurors. 146 00:06:57,693 --> 00:06:58,763 Yeah. 147 00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:00,833 So no brownies? 148 00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:02,525 No brownies! 149 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,216 Suits. 150 00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:09,013 Bobby's right. We're that table. 151 00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:12,500 This is not okay. I'm gonna tell that stuffed shirt we're dissatisfied. 152 00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:15,744 Kenny, don't embarrass us. Okay? My publisher made this reservation. 153 00:07:15,745 --> 00:07:18,575 I'm not going to make a scene. Okay? I'm just going to tell them we're leaving. 154 00:07:18,576 --> 00:07:20,335 They're not going to want that. I don't know, Kenny. 155 00:07:20,336 --> 00:07:22,786 What have we got to lose? The service can't get any worse. 156 00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:24,753 Excuse me? 157 00:07:24,754 --> 00:07:26,997 Yes? I just want you to know we're not very happy with our 158 00:07:26,998 --> 00:07:29,379 service, and my friends and I, we're going to be leaving. 159 00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:32,072 Oh... Very well. 160 00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:38,734 Can you clear this table quickly? There's a party waiting at the bar. 161 00:07:42,531 --> 00:07:45,395 Wow. Really? Now they're quick? 162 00:07:54,197 --> 00:07:55,819 So this is where men go. 163 00:07:55,820 --> 00:07:57,476 Tonight we're stepping it up. 164 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,617 We sure are. And might I say, that is a great tie. 165 00:08:00,618 --> 00:08:06,623 Thank you. And thanks for loaning it to me. And for tying it. 166 00:08:06,624 --> 00:08:11,144 Gotta tell ya, man, at first I was kind of skeptical. But now I get it. I'm in. 167 00:08:11,145 --> 00:08:12,663 I've been to this place three times in my life, 168 00:08:12,664 --> 00:08:14,700 and I've been asked to leave three times. 169 00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,080 That changes tonight. 170 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:17,806 All three times, huh? 171 00:08:17,807 --> 00:08:20,222 Yes. Very politely twice. 172 00:08:20,223 --> 00:08:21,914 What happened the third time? 173 00:08:21,915 --> 00:08:24,296 Don't worry about that. I look totally different. I'm in a suit. 174 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:26,264 What can I get you gentlemen? 175 00:08:28,162 --> 00:08:30,717 Two Dalmore scotches. A couple rocks, please. Right away. 176 00:08:33,789 --> 00:08:34,823 "Gentlemen"! "Gentlemen"! 177 00:08:38,276 --> 00:08:40,070 I can't believe I wore heels for that. 178 00:08:40,071 --> 00:08:42,935 "Well, just follow my lead. Hey, badda-bing." 179 00:08:42,936 --> 00:08:47,146 Uh, let's remember, I'm not the enemy. Fig is. 180 00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:49,010 I'm just so bummed. 181 00:08:49,011 --> 00:08:50,218 Because we were going to have a special evening, 182 00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:52,290 and now here we are back at P.J.'s again. 183 00:08:54,499 --> 00:08:57,536 Well, maybe we can play bridge or something. That's different. 184 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,711 Hey! That's the spirit! Do you know how to play bridge? 185 00:09:00,712 --> 00:09:02,989 God, no. I'm not 80. 186 00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:05,923 All right, well, come on, you guys. Let's rally! Okay? I'll order a pizza. 187 00:09:05,924 --> 00:09:08,029 We can play charades or something. 188 00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:11,411 Hi, yeah. Can I get a pizza, please? Yeah, I'll hold... 189 00:09:11,412 --> 00:09:12,861 You guys find some treats? 190 00:09:12,862 --> 00:09:15,139 Sorry, I am starving. All I ate was vodka and a pretzel roll. 191 00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,555 Mm-hmm. We helped ourselves. 192 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,833 Hey, Peej, these brownies you made are delicious. 193 00:09:18,834 --> 00:09:19,972 I didn't make any brownies. 194 00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:21,283 Maybe Brendo baked them. 195 00:09:21,284 --> 00:09:23,459 Brendo doesn't bake... 196 00:09:24,494 --> 00:09:25,495 Uh-oh. 197 00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,568 What? Well, there's only one kind of brownie 198 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,914 that Brendo bakes. 199 00:09:30,915 --> 00:09:33,261 Are you saying... Did we just... 200 00:09:33,262 --> 00:09:34,952 Wait a minute, what? 201 00:09:34,953 --> 00:09:38,404 Well, now. It looks like tonight might be special after all. 202 00:09:38,405 --> 00:09:39,612 That was my second one. 203 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,131 Ooh! 204 00:09:41,132 --> 00:09:42,753 What's he mean "Ooh"? What do you mean, "Ooh"? 205 00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:44,444 Oh, no, Bobby. What do we do? 206 00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:47,620 Well, Peej. I think our friends are about to board a little ride. 207 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:51,245 So, we could wish them well and send them on their way. Or... 208 00:09:53,662 --> 00:09:55,421 We could join them. 209 00:09:55,422 --> 00:09:59,252 Oh, honey. Please join us. 210 00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:04,603 Oh, hi. Yeah, I'd actually like to have three pizzas, please. And some hot wings. 211 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:08,227 And that deep fried cookie pizza thing, yeah. Yeah, that's the one. Two of them. 212 00:10:08,228 --> 00:10:09,435 Thanks, bye! 213 00:10:09,436 --> 00:10:10,679 Cheers! Cheers! 214 00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:16,925 I just don't think corporations should have the same legal rights of a person. 215 00:10:16,926 --> 00:10:19,238 You know? I mean, there's no constitutional grounds for that. 216 00:10:19,239 --> 00:10:20,826 That is fascinating stuff. 217 00:10:20,827 --> 00:10:23,656 You know, we should talk about non-sports stuff more often. 218 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,176 Tell me about it. You know, actually, I want to go back to what you were 219 00:10:26,177 --> 00:10:30,180 saying about the black holes. I had no idea you knew so much about physics. 220 00:10:30,181 --> 00:10:32,147 It's been a secret obsession of mine since I was a kid. 221 00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:35,254 Can probably be traced all the way back to the Bionic Woman. 222 00:10:35,255 --> 00:10:36,773 Ah, excuse me for the interruption, 223 00:10:36,774 --> 00:10:39,155 but I just noticed that we're being noticed. 224 00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:44,263 Oh, my. Oh, yes, those are not your typical Crowley's women. 225 00:10:44,264 --> 00:10:47,749 No kidding. Those women ooze class. 226 00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:49,026 What's our plan? 227 00:10:49,027 --> 00:10:50,131 All right, stop using words like "ooze." 228 00:10:50,132 --> 00:10:51,167 Okay, yeah. I can do that. 229 00:10:52,306 --> 00:10:55,308 We gotta act like adults on this one. 230 00:10:55,309 --> 00:10:57,138 I think they're smiling this way! 231 00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:59,865 All right, settle down, Ginger. Here's what we do. 232 00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:00,935 Show them the ties. 233 00:11:00,936 --> 00:11:02,489 Yup. 234 00:11:10,048 --> 00:11:12,879 Holy smokes, I think it's working! Yeah. You go, ties! 235 00:11:15,813 --> 00:11:18,918 Good evening. It is, isn't it? Where are you in from? 236 00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:21,818 Actually, we live here. We just love this bar. 237 00:11:21,819 --> 00:11:25,754 Ah, a man with taste. I'm Lena. Brendan. 238 00:11:28,273 --> 00:11:29,964 Emily. Michael. 239 00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:31,829 Nice to meet you, Michael. Nice to meet you. 240 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,326 Oh! Nice one, Peej. 241 00:11:47,327 --> 00:11:49,985 Keep your guard up, Steph! Work the body! 242 00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:52,573 Hey! 243 00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,024 Here you go, champ. Eye of the tiger! 244 00:11:56,025 --> 00:11:59,407 You're giving it away out there! All these people came to see you. 245 00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:00,960 Hundreds of people came. 246 00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:02,237 Okay... Don't disappoint. 247 00:12:02,238 --> 00:12:03,274 Let's do this, blondie. 248 00:12:03,999 --> 00:12:05,345 All right, come on! 249 00:12:07,623 --> 00:12:11,075 Okay. Top five inventions of mankind. 250 00:12:12,041 --> 00:12:14,008 Um, the wheel, 251 00:12:14,009 --> 00:12:17,183 submarines, penicillin... 252 00:12:17,184 --> 00:12:20,462 Slippers, creme brulee 253 00:12:20,463 --> 00:12:22,948 spoons... 254 00:12:22,949 --> 00:12:25,536 Wait, but now we have six top five inventions. 255 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:28,954 Then let's do 10 and add four more. 256 00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:32,406 Yes! I wanted to add dry erase markers anyway. 257 00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,719 Ready, and... 258 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,032 T-O-U-C-H! 259 00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:40,482 D-O-W-N! 260 00:12:40,483 --> 00:12:42,519 Kenny... What? 261 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,417 Kenny! What? 262 00:12:44,418 --> 00:12:46,592 ♪ Your head moves from side to side 263 00:12:46,593 --> 00:12:48,663 ♪ And you ain't got no alibi 264 00:12:48,664 --> 00:12:51,148 ♪ You ugly ♪ You ugly 265 00:12:55,257 --> 00:12:57,672 Wait, who are you even cheering for? I'm cheering for you. 266 00:12:57,673 --> 00:12:59,501 But you keep saying Kenny. 267 00:12:59,502 --> 00:13:00,951 'Cause he's ugly. 268 00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:02,678 And he ain't got no alibi. 269 00:13:04,093 --> 00:13:05,543 I'm not ugly. 270 00:13:12,412 --> 00:13:16,622 Rain coming down, right? Thunder, lightning outside. Craziness. Total craziness. 271 00:13:16,623 --> 00:13:18,244 And then Mike... ...al. 272 00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:21,109 Michael says to the pilot... 273 00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:22,973 I give you a 10 on the take off, 274 00:13:22,974 --> 00:13:26,597 but your score's going to be heavily weighted on the landing! 275 00:13:27,945 --> 00:13:29,428 On the landing! That's good! 276 00:13:29,429 --> 00:13:31,188 That's good! 277 00:13:31,189 --> 00:13:34,743 You see that? $5 beer gets you a girl. $15 drink gets you a woman. 278 00:13:34,744 --> 00:13:38,955 I can't tell you how refreshing it is to finally meet some grown-up men. 279 00:13:38,956 --> 00:13:41,750 Tell me about it. I love Chicago. 280 00:13:41,751 --> 00:13:44,512 It is not like Dallas. Full of boys. 281 00:13:44,513 --> 00:13:47,135 Hey, guys. Excuse me. We have to close up. 282 00:13:47,136 --> 00:13:50,138 Oh. Sorry, Cliff. I didn't realize we were the last ones here. 283 00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:51,415 Thanks for everything, boss. 284 00:13:51,416 --> 00:13:52,728 Thanks. 285 00:13:54,523 --> 00:13:57,352 Well, the downside of a hotel bar. 286 00:13:57,353 --> 00:14:00,355 But I would sure like to keep this conversation going. 287 00:14:00,356 --> 00:14:05,050 Yeah. This is our last night in town and we still haven't seen a real Chicago bar. 288 00:14:05,051 --> 00:14:07,121 That's right. Oh, hey, Brendan, 289 00:14:07,122 --> 00:14:10,227 what's the name of the place in your neighborhood? It's like a pub or a tavern? 290 00:14:10,228 --> 00:14:11,884 Oh, it's uh... 291 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:15,612 Cullen's? Cochran's? Carmichael's? Craven's? Crowley's? 292 00:14:15,613 --> 00:14:16,994 Bingo. Great idea! 293 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:27,313 Senorita Vaca, let us leave this dusty bar. 294 00:14:27,314 --> 00:14:29,005 Paris awaits us! 295 00:14:29,006 --> 00:14:33,630 Oh, Sergeant Shark, you do make speeches. 296 00:14:34,977 --> 00:14:37,392 They're kissing. 297 00:14:37,393 --> 00:14:40,464 Hey, you guys. I just spent an hour online searching for boots. 298 00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:42,673 I think we're descending into madness. 299 00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,090 No disrespect to your puppet show, Bobby. 300 00:14:45,091 --> 00:14:49,992 Oh, puppets have no use for boots. 301 00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:53,822 Ow! 302 00:14:53,823 --> 00:14:55,755 Maybe we should get some fresh air. 303 00:14:55,756 --> 00:15:00,622 I don't know if I can move. My feet feel like they're full of really heavy water. 304 00:15:00,623 --> 00:15:03,453 How can one water be heavier than any other water? 305 00:15:03,454 --> 00:15:07,146 No, no! We're not going to talk about water. Come on, you guys, let's go. 306 00:15:07,147 --> 00:15:09,598 Let's go outside before this night really gets away from us. 307 00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:10,979 Okay. 308 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:12,773 Crowley's? 309 00:15:16,743 --> 00:15:19,849 No shirt, no shoes, no service. 310 00:15:22,783 --> 00:15:26,684 Okay, I'll leave the puppets here. Bye, guys. 311 00:15:36,004 --> 00:15:39,144 I was starting to think that every man in the country played video games 312 00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:40,559 with strangers on the Internet. 313 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,804 Aw, now that is just sad. Especially the strangers part. 314 00:15:44,805 --> 00:15:50,431 And when did guys decide that it was okay to go out at night wearing a hoodie? 315 00:15:50,432 --> 00:15:52,812 Boys. You know, sometimes I feel sorry for them. 316 00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:55,195 Oh, hey. We know these people. 317 00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:00,372 Oh, hey, guys! These are our friends. 318 00:16:00,373 --> 00:16:04,410 Yeah. Emily and Lena, this is P.J., Kenny, Steph, and Bobby. 319 00:16:04,411 --> 00:16:05,447 Hi! Hi! 320 00:16:06,103 --> 00:16:07,069 Suits. 321 00:16:09,244 --> 00:16:10,278 I'm sorry? 322 00:16:10,279 --> 00:16:11,349 You're in suits. 323 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,834 You okay, Kenny? 324 00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:19,356 We've had wine. We've had, like, a lot of wine. 325 00:16:19,357 --> 00:16:22,118 I think he means to say you look really, really good, Mike. 326 00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:23,188 Michael. 327 00:16:23,189 --> 00:16:24,948 What? 328 00:16:24,949 --> 00:16:28,124 Michael was telling us that you all were at Fig tonight. How was it? 329 00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,297 Huh? 330 00:16:29,298 --> 00:16:33,130 Wait, who's Michael? You're Michael? What? 331 00:16:36,616 --> 00:16:38,997 You know, I think that the service was actually a little bit spotty. 332 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,275 She called him Michael! That just weird. 333 00:16:41,276 --> 00:16:44,174 'Cause you don't even really look like a Michael. 334 00:16:44,175 --> 00:16:48,868 It's like if you called Kenny Howard or something, right? 335 00:16:48,869 --> 00:16:51,630 Is anybody drinking this? 336 00:16:51,631 --> 00:16:55,047 Well... This is embarrassing. 337 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,601 I just want this feeling to end. 338 00:16:57,602 --> 00:16:59,810 You know, I think I might use the ladies' room. 339 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,985 And I will join you, Lena. 340 00:17:01,986 --> 00:17:03,022 We will be right here. 341 00:17:07,371 --> 00:17:09,372 What is wrong with you guys? You're acting like idiots. 342 00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:11,960 Oh, look. It's angry Michael. 343 00:17:14,309 --> 00:17:17,104 Seriously, guys. These women think we're grown-ups, okay? With grown-up friends. 344 00:17:17,105 --> 00:17:20,866 Okay, we're sorry. We're sorry, Brendan. It's kind of your fault, though. 345 00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:23,006 How is this my fault? 346 00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:25,388 We didn't get to eat dinner, so we ate the brownies that you made. 347 00:17:25,389 --> 00:17:26,492 You ate those? 348 00:17:26,493 --> 00:17:27,769 I ate two. 349 00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:29,461 And a stick of butter. 350 00:17:31,257 --> 00:17:34,087 How were they? Dude, look at us. 351 00:17:36,227 --> 00:17:38,677 Well, well, well. So, the couples got themselves 352 00:17:38,678 --> 00:17:40,852 into a little bit of a state, tonight, huh? 353 00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:43,268 Are you wearing my T-shirt? 354 00:17:43,269 --> 00:17:45,960 Yeah. Yeah, it's comfy. 355 00:17:45,961 --> 00:17:50,516 I ate an entire bag of chips. I hurt my tongue. 356 00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:55,280 So you came here? You morons. You're ruining everything we've built with these ladies. 357 00:17:55,281 --> 00:17:57,489 They're classy. We're being classy. 358 00:17:57,490 --> 00:18:00,319 Sorry, Michael. 359 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,150 Dude, what made you go all Michael? 360 00:18:03,151 --> 00:18:05,013 It is my name, Robert. 361 00:18:05,014 --> 00:18:09,466 Yeah, it's like his alter-ego. See, Michael is Mike with super-hero class. 362 00:18:12,263 --> 00:18:13,781 Stop it, Brendan. 'Cause you're not helping this. 363 00:18:13,782 --> 00:18:17,233 I'm sorry, man. It's fun. You ate two, huh? 364 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:19,614 Don't. I'm not... I need a bath or something. 365 00:18:19,615 --> 00:18:21,100 Dude, don't fight it. 366 00:18:22,998 --> 00:18:24,688 Take a trip down that road for a bit. 367 00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:28,003 Yeah. Look at that. There you go. Atta boy. 368 00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:33,801 All right, all right, all right. Mike's right. 369 00:18:33,802 --> 00:18:35,458 I feel bad. We're screwing you guys up. 370 00:18:35,459 --> 00:18:37,425 We should just go. 371 00:18:37,426 --> 00:18:38,564 No, no... Wait. You can't leave now. That would be weird. 372 00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:40,497 Okay, how do we explain that? 373 00:18:40,498 --> 00:18:45,157 Okay, okay. You guys, here they come. So, come on, group. Just pull it together. 374 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,331 For Brendan and Mike. 375 00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:47,539 Michael. 376 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,610 Don't. 377 00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:52,164 Welcome back. Thank you. 378 00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:55,409 I am so sorry about our entrance. We drank on empty stomachs, you know? 379 00:18:55,410 --> 00:18:57,790 No worries. We're not judging. 380 00:18:57,791 --> 00:19:00,103 No, but I do think we're leaving. 381 00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:03,969 We didn't realize that it had gotten pretty late and we fly back to Dallas in the morning. 382 00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:05,419 Yeah, so we're just going to go back to the hotel. 383 00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:07,662 You are? I think so. 384 00:19:07,663 --> 00:19:11,391 But, uh, Lena and I were hoping that you gentlemen would escort us back. 385 00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:19,226 We'd be happy to. Well, bye. 386 00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:21,194 Good night, you guys. Pleasure to meet you all. 387 00:19:26,441 --> 00:19:28,407 Wow, that kind of worked out well for them. 388 00:19:28,408 --> 00:19:31,030 All I can say is "whew." 389 00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:33,171 Yeah. Michael would have never let us hear the end of that. 390 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,242 So what should we do? 391 00:19:35,243 --> 00:19:38,797 I don't know about you guys, but I could really use a hot meal. 392 00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:40,385 You know, like, some real food. 393 00:19:40,386 --> 00:19:44,492 Totally! Oh, I know just the place, too. It's open late. 394 00:19:44,493 --> 00:19:47,495 Really good food, super mellow vibe. 395 00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:51,361 Mellow is good. I could use mellow. 396 00:19:51,362 --> 00:19:52,638 I hope they have crayons! 397 00:19:52,639 --> 00:19:55,365 Yeah! Oh! I hit the liquid center. 398 00:19:57,403 --> 00:19:59,439 Why are we standing here? Let's go. 399 00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:07,066 There are upsides to growing up and being in a relationship. 400 00:20:07,067 --> 00:20:11,381 And there are upsides to being single and carefree. 401 00:20:11,382 --> 00:20:15,316 When you're single, you never quite know where the night is going to take you. 402 00:20:15,317 --> 00:20:19,562 And that can be really fun. 403 00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:24,256 Being in a mature relationship means that no matter what happens, that other person 404 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:28,812 is going to be there for you, which is nice. 405 00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:33,092 Tonight, I guess we all got a little bit of both worlds. 406 00:20:33,093 --> 00:20:36,648 You know what? This is good. I'm actually starting to feel a little normal. 407 00:20:36,649 --> 00:20:41,584 Me, too. It was a fun ride, though. 408 00:20:41,585 --> 00:20:42,620 Oh, yeah. 409 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,590 I think Kenny's going to need a little more time, guys. 410 00:20:47,591 --> 00:20:48,626 Yeah. 411 00:20:50,145 --> 00:20:53,285 Look, Kenny, I drew a picture of how you look tonight.